War is over Come AGAIN!
by RebeliousSquirrel
Summary: Conkers Back with an all new adventure... This humorus story takes place after "BFD". Conker meets some new guys along the way. Thermophile, demolisher,etc... Can Conker ever stand each of there personalities? Read here please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: A New Beginning…

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** Here's one of the first Conker Fics I ever wrote. I hope you really enjoy it! This story takes place after "Bad Fur Day". It's Rated R for violence, verbal language, and sexually suggestive Humor. So in this Fic, Conker meets unexpected heroes along the way. Yea, you know the Thermopile, Demolisher, Grunt, etc…**

**So sit on tight, stick your eyes on the screen with excitement, and enjoy the world of the little foul-mouthed squirrel…**

** Chapter 1: A New Beginning…**

** Dark as coil; the night of shattering glittering stars wondered across the dark night sky. Not to far away from Windy, was a castle owned by a King, "The King of all the land" he said to himself. In that castle, was a ruler named Conker, who sat in his throne thinking back those memories back in the "Bad Fur Days".**

" Oh Berry, why did you have to go…" **Conker paused then continued.** "I just can't seem to get my mind off that tragic incident that happened to you…**Then sighed in despair.**

**A guard form Conker's castle walked up to him and decided to help him out in Speech** "You know sire, I think the Cock and The Plucker would get those non-optimistic memories out of you noggin…"

**Conker sighed once more thinking what the tall weasel had said, and then slowly spoke and tilted his head. **"Well, I suppose that would be an idea that will work…"

"Go on Conker" **The other short weasel, said, **" The bloody beer needs you." **Conker shifted his crown and smirked.** " Well, I guess your right, I'm off to The Cock and The Plucker!"

"Any reinforcements sire?" **the tall one said.**

"No, I'll be on my own for now, I don't need bad farts to follow me around" **Conker suggested.**

"But Sire!" **He continued. The round weasel turned with angry shifted eyes and shouted.** "YOU BLOODY TWAT! ENOUGH WITH THE RUN- AROUNDS! HE SAID WHAT HE SAID, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

"But"

"ENOUGH!"

**Conker turned towards the two bickering guards, and then spoke.** " Would you guys-" **He was interrupted with all the nonsense from the two.**

"All you think about is being the BOSS around here which of course you're not!"

" Bloody Hell NOT!" **Snapped the round one.**

****"Oh yes you do!"

"Oh, no I DON'T!"

"Yes"

"NOT!"

**Conker couldn't take anymore of the arguments. Slowly and steadily he took breezed air and shouted…** " WOULD YOU TWO SHUT YOUR FUCKING CUNTS?!"** Both guards stopped with awkward silence and right away they faced Conker with Eager-Eyes. Conker knew they wanted more to argue about, but they have to stop for now…**

"Now then…" **Conker continued. **"Once I leave, keep your guard on…"

"You mean condoms?"** Said the tall one. **" You…IDIOT!" **Yelled the other.**

"He said guard ON!"

"He meant avenging this PLACE!"

" Then we should cover this place with a huge condom…" **He continued.**

**The Fat weasel cocked his head in confusion.**

** Conker smacked his forehead.** "What in the world is this coming to…"

"Well, more like idiot zone!" **Said the fat one.**

**The other guard had enough and spoke out. **"Well, at least I don't ORGASM on Conkers military weapons!" **Conker froze, and noticed the round one was cringing in embarrassment.**

" Uh, OrGaSm?" **Conker responded. **" Of Course!" **The tall one continued.** " And how would you know that?" **Conker said in a trembling slow voice.** " Well, One, you can see him cringing in embarrassment, Two, When ever your out, he goes to your military weapon base in the basement and drills himself for life"

" YOU BLOODY LIAR!" **the other guard shouted in rage.**

" I"AM NOT!" **Yelled the other.** " I'm certain you do, cuz every morning when Conker commands me to check to his weapon base, there always covered in jelly…"

" Okay, guys that's enough I don't think I don't need to hear any of that anymore…" **Conker said.**

" I WAS JUST POLISHING THEM…sire…" **The fat one continued.**

" ReALLy… More like pretty DEEP POLISHING!"** The other responded**

** Conker covered his ears and yelled once more.** " SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTHS!" **Silence came over the room and he relaxed his voice and said:** " Well, ill be off now, be back soon…" **Conker opened the huge leathered caped door. Slowly and he knew before he stepped an inch outside, the weasels continued there argument.**

** "**Why do you have to be a sagging TWAT, you bloody Shit!"

** Conker rolled his eyes and shook his head.** " Well, At least I'm out for beer…"** he said to himself. Slowly the door closed behind him. Conker paced away towards The Cock and The Plucker in a dark clear night…**

** Yes, I know its kinda like a short chapter, but it'll get longer per chapter and the juicy stuff will be coming soon. So please send you reviews it will help me a lot!**

**Stay tuned for Chapter 2: New and Known Fraternities! .**

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	2. Chapter 2 : New and known fraternites!

**Chapter 2:New and Known Fraternities! **

This is Chapter 2! Thanks for reading this far! So sit back Relax and enjoy! J

**Chapter 2: New and Know Fraternities!**

** A quarter till midnight, Conker continues to be on his way; thinking,**_" Will a beer help me out my negative thoughts?"_** He fastened his pace… **_" I'd better get going quick! I don't want to miss anything that's going over at The Cock and The Plucker!"_** When Conker finally reached to his destination, he caught his breath; Gasping for air. **" I…I...I guess…I'm here…"** Conker leaned against the door of his destination. Then a noise came beyond the door, a creak, and a squeak, Then…** " WOOAAAAAH!….- crap…God, this place needs a new door…" **Conker mumbled.**

"Hey Conker! Nice to drop by!" **Said an oddly gray squirrel dressed in Army Attire.**

"Gee, Thanks for noticing my Fall Mike!" **Conker said sarcastically.**

" Oh! Here, let me help ya!"

"No, No! I'm Fine!"** Conker stood up and dusted his arms.**

"So anything else happening lately Conk?"

"Argh…I'm just thinking about Berry, I came here for a beer to set my mind off to thinking something else…"

"Oh…That Tragedy…" **Mike looked down **" Well..." **Mike continued,** " We've got beer here, so have a drink! Like The Cock and The Plucker motto; Our alcoholic beverages are so damn good, it'll fuck your taste buds!"

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** Conker chuckled** " Yea, your right!"** Then headed his way towards the Bar. Mike Lifted up the door, then he noticed something screeching in a childish way.** " Gosh, don't you people ever known I was under that door squished while you two were in you little conversation!?"** the little voice shouted.**

" Sorry Rodent! It wouldn't happen again!"** Mike responded in an uncaring manner. Rodent Retorted and shook his head. **" Gee, Just because I'm a guy with a glass doesn't mean I have to be stomped on and ridiculed everyday!"

" Oh well…" **Mike shrugged and decided to fix the door for himself. Meanwhile, at the Bar, Conker sat and waited for his service.**

**Conker shouted across the room.** "Yo, Bartender!" ****

" Be there in your service in a minute Conker!"

**Conker sighed** "Okay…"** then slowly sunk into his seat. **"Hey Conker!" **Conkers ears perked up and knew that familiar voice was Rodent. Conker sat up and shook his head. **_"Here we go again…"_

"Hey Conker how's it going?"** As the scratchy voice came upon closer to Conker. **

"Nuthin much, just here to chill out with a beer…"** Conker thought of telling Rodent his problem, but Rodent will never end his talking about the topic.**

"Ah, Cool…Mind if I sit with you buddy ol pal?"

"No-… **Conker paused** " -Problem…"

" Great! Thanks!" **Responded back the four-eyed squirrel.**

Conker faces towards Rodent and notices his glasses have been damaged by the "accident".

" So what happened to yourself? Looks like your glasses been compressed or something."

"Oh, that, well, more like I'VE been COMPRESSED ON!" **Rodent retorted.**

"Wow, what happened?"** Conker said without remembering that Rodent was under the door compressed by Conker who was above the door.**

"Gees! So many people around me don't pay attention to me nor LISTENING to –" **An interruption from Conker came upon Rodent. **

"Yea, I'll have 2 bottles of that lovely beer you have Mitch, make it Budweiser!" **Conker requested. **"At your service King Conker!" **Replied Mitch the Bartender. And slide the beers across the counter. **"Ahh, nothing but a good taste of beer!"** as Conker drank.**

"Me…." **Rodent said in a lonely voice.**

"Okay what were you saying?"

" Never mind…"

"Oh, okay besides I knew it wouldn't be at my convince to care! I mean its not like I did anything to you right?"

Rodent grunted and aloof 

" Hey, what the matter Rodent?"** Conker said latterly.**

" OH NoThiNg!"** Rodent said sarcastically.** " I GuEsS yOu AlSo CaNt PaY AtTeNtIoN AbOuT YoUr So CaLLeD BuDDiEs HuH?!"** Conker drank some more of his beer.** "Ahh, great stuff for all the things that I care!" **Conker Drank some more.**

" BEER! IS THAT WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT? BEER?! ARGH!"** Rodent sprinted right off his seat and sat near the fireplace were the other chaps talking about "A New War" That Conker hadn't known yet.**

" Gee, what's his problem?" **Conker asked a fellow gray squirrel next to him.**

"Psh, for what the hell I know, he can just fuck his loneliness to himself!"** Replied the Shrugged and began to drink his second beer. While Rodent sat next to another army group of squirrels and chatted.**

" So um ay got no one to talk to?" **Said one of the Army.**

"It's about time you noticed!" **Replied Rodent in a friendly matter. The whole Army at the table glanced at Rodent in despair and they all said at once: **"Noticed what?".

**Rodent couldn't take anymore of this run-arounds and then shouted **" DOESN'T ANYONE NOTICE ME OR LISTEN TO ME?! WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE REJECT!" **All Squirrels in The Cock and The Plucker laughed in tears. **" That's IT! IM OUTTA THIS FUCKING PLACE FULL OF IDIOTS!"** Rodent quickly heads towards the door then suddenly… BAM! The door came upon Rodent once again. A strange dark figure came on top of the door were Rodent was beneath…**

"Aw man… I just fixed that… CANT YOU SEE I JUST FIXED THE DOOR ASSHOLE!" **Shouted Mike who fixed the door in the first place. The new dark figure slowly faced towards Mike.**

"What are you looking at! CANT YOU SEE YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO KICK THIS DOOR WHILE IM FIXING IT! YOU'VE WOULD OF HURT SOME ONE!"** Snapped Mike.**

" I'm okay…"** in a visible voice below the door.**

" I believe you owe an apology to ME and THE COCK AND THE PLUCKER!** Yelled snapping Mike. The new figure growled.**

"Now, Now Mike, its okay we can get a new one!"** Bartender Mitch said. **

"NO! Cost me to much damn fucking work for all this to fail!"

Conker turned and faced the argument between the new figure and Mike. "What's going on?" Conker finished his last beer and heads towards the argument.

"Come on! Speak up BITCH!" Mike said madly.

The Dark figure grabbed Mike by the neck and squeezed in tension…

" HELP! Somebody!"

" So much for the army attire" Said another soldier.

Conker Finally Spoke " Hey buddy, Drop him would ya? He's just a stubborn squirrel…" The figure dropped him hearing stubborn ol Mike gasping for air. " You must be the king I've been hearing about". Said the figure.

" Yea… So? What do you want? Trouble? Cause if your looking for trouble you should kiss your bloody ass goodbye in 5 seconds by now" Conker said bravely.

" I don't think there is a reason to say that to a General would you Conker?"

"Huh? Show your self you coward!"

The strange figure took a step towards the light. " You can call me The Grunt AKA General" he salutes. Conker couldn't think of anything right now so he did the same; he saluted.

" I guess you're new in the S.C.H Army group?" Conker asked questionably.

"Sure I' am, and five other classes"

" Well, I think I should say congrats for joining in!"

" Thanks, and I believe you are almost owning the S.C.H Army academy?"

"I Believe so!" Conker Chuckled. " I thought there won't be choose anymore Army Squirrel Requirements before till the next war starts? I mean, we beat the Shit outta those Tediz 3 yrs ago didn't we?"

"Well, I wasn't there at that time, but surely it sounded like you did!" Answered the Grunt.

"Yea beat those bitches off their stuffed Asses!"

The Grunt laughed. "A guy with a funny potential! Love it! Ha! Your more better than that one idiot from the other 5 classes!"

"And who would that be?"

"Well," The Grunt continued. "You'll meet him sooner or later… he's such a Cut-Up!"

" I think I can handle it…"

" HA! I don't think you would! The only thing that will is his crush!"

Conker Paused and remembered Berri.

" What wrong Conker?"

"Well, its just- never mind… I don't want to talk about it." Conker said sadly.

"Oh, well…anyways… I cant stand that guy!"

Conker looked at the clock above the shelves near the blazing fireplace. It was 1:08 A.M, He needed to go back home soon.

" Ah, seems to me you need to go back." The grunt said in a steadily voice. Slowly Conker faced the new General. "Yea, I better get going." Conker then faced outside, which occasionally the door was brayed on the floor again. "See you then!"

"Right, any chance well meet again?"

"Um" Conker thought for a moment. "Perhaps you can visit over sometime tomorrow…"

"That would be great, besides you don't need to tell me were you live I can see it from here!" The Grunt stepped back outside and Conker when out. Mike cautiously picked up the door and there was the smashed four-eyed squirrel…Rodent.

" I thought you said it WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!" Rodent Provoked.

" Well hey, unexpected things happen you know!" Then Mike mumbled out in hidden words. "Little Bitch…" Even though Mike was still angry from the door incident.

" YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE REVIL YOU SMARTASS! Besides…Rodent continued. " I think it's too unexpected!"

" Oh really?" Mike said sarcastically then pulls out a fist. " HOW ABOUT THIS!" Rodent slowly gulped…

" Now, Now Mike no need to be violent here you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you Mike?" said Mitch the Bartender.

Mike responded back. " Oh, I think… we should… heh heh"

Rodent slowly backed away. " Yea, Mike…. uh, um you should be hitting a guy…with…glasses?" Rodent quickly slipped into his one and only army bulletproof attire.

" Oh NO YOU DON'T!" Mike roughly pounced on Rodent and began the interrogating fight…

Meanwhile outside The Cock and The Plucker…

" Well, See you around!" Conker said as he waved goodbye to his new fellow friend and headed back to his royal home…

While Conker paced himself towards home, he heard a load noise above him. A sound he hasn't heard after 3 yrs. He stopped on his tracks and looked up. There was something familiar in the sky… " What could that be?" he said to himself. " IT CANT BE!"

Six Army Jets soaring above the dark gray sky. " NO! It…can't…be… Not 3 yrs after from war! It has to be this close till now!" Six of the jets had flown away, disappearing through the soft dark sky.

" Better get going..." Running as he could, whistling winds he could hear in his furry little ears. He quickly crossed the bridge and made it through his way._" Finally, now to get some shut eye…"_ He brayed on the door quickly and steadily. He slammed, he kicked, too eager to wait. " COME ON SHIT HEADS! OPEN UP!" He shouted. The door creaked open. Conker couldn't wait any longer. Sharply and quick he opened the door.

" CANT YOU GUYS ANSWER ANY FASTER?!"

" Sorry sire, I believe I had some difficulties answering the door…"

Conker pushed him aside. " What difficulties?"

"Well…um…" The tall one paused.

" Forget it…" Conker placed his crown on a red silky pillow near his watchful throne. " I'll be needing some sleep.. So keep things quiet and under control."

The Guard bowed. " Your command will be honored my lord…"

Conker slowly walked up to his room and pounced on his bed; face first. " Ehhh" Conker moaned against his sheets. Then turned, faced the ceiling and sighed. " Please don't tell me another war is coming by… I killed those motherfucker bitches of hell! What more would they want?!" Another loudness came upon outside near Conker's windows.

"Seems to me its another one of those Army Jets." Conker said to himself.

Slowly, he closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He opened them gently and sighed. "Well, tomorrow's another day, hopefully not a bad one at that!" He turned off the lights and his eyes heavenly glazed shut…

Yes, the end of Chapter 2. Reviews please if you must! J

Stay tuned for Chapter 3: Pioneer, Sky Jockey is here! If your wondering about the humor…wait till the other chapters… it'll tease your brain!

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	3. Chapter 3: Pioneer, Sky Jockey is here!

**Chapter 3: Pioneer, Sky Jockey is here!**

As we continue the story, Conker fell asleep thinking about the Jets that flew across the night sky. Conker later finds about the true story…

** Chapter 3: Pioneer, Sky Jockey is here! **

**Conker's eyes slowly drifted open, yawning of a good well sleep.** " Ahh, What a good well sleep, no disturbance during my shut-eye. Yup! Fantastic!" **Conker stood up and opened the huge curtain behind his silky red bed. There stood a huge heavenly clear window, which stroke out dim orange and yellow beams, beaming against his room. Conker's eyes glistened from the sunrise's glittering beams. **"Seems like a nice to go out for a beer".** Then remembered, The Grunt was to visit him afterwards. Conker yawned in relaxation and headed his way towards his throne were it was kept.**_" Why were those Army jets soaring above the sky?" _**He thought, as he cautiously walked to his throne.**

** With hands against his back, the guards knew Conker was thinking something questionably. Conker walked back and forth, thinking and questioning himself the same thing over and over. **_" Why were they there? There must be a freakin explanation…" _****

"Sire?" **The tall guard asked cautiously. **" Is something wrong?"

_" Why? Why were they there?" _**Conker asked himself.**

" You stupid twat! What did you do know that made him think so much?!" **asked the other guard.**

" He seems to have a problem." **He continued and asked Conker. **" Sire, do you need Milk Of Magnesia?" **The round one turned and faced the idiotic guard.**

" DOES IT LOOK LIKE HE DOES JACKARSE?! "** Responded the other.**

** Conker sat on his throne tapping his fingers against the glossy golden armrest.**

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"Sire, you didn't put your royal crown."****

** Conker ignored the two and continued on to his thinking.**

" There you go my lord" **as one of the guards placed his crown above their master.**

" Were going to have a visitor today…"** Conker explained. **

**Both guards turned.** "A visitor?"

" Yes, better be in good behavior or else…" **Conker warned.**

The tall one wanted to know what the "Else" means…He didn't want to wait.

" Or else what Sire?"

** The fat weasel smacked the stupidly tall weasel.** " SHUT UP! You don't want to give him any ideas!"

" Oh… your right."

Conker's tapping against his armrest became more and more rapid… 

" I believe we should shut our fucking cunts, just like our lord would say to us when we're getting in his bloody nerves…" **Said the round one in a trebling voice.**

** Conker faced the two gossiping weasels and finally spoke. **" You guys…"

"Yes my LORD!" **Responded the two.**

" Just go near the entrance and check if the visitor will be coming soon…"

" Yes, my… lord…"** Both guards bowed and commanded.**

** Conker rolled his eyes. Tapping and tapping his fingers rapidly made him impatient to know what happened the other night.** " Argh! I can't take this anymore! Somebody just has to tell me what the hell happened yesterday! DOESN'T THE KING HAVE TO HEAR WHATS HAPPENING ALL AROUND HERE!?"** he shouted. Suddenly, he heard braying on the door.** " "Ah, that must be him… ANSWER IT YOU ASSES!"** But the braying continued momentarily. **" "HEY! I SAID ANSWER IT YOU LAZY ASS GUARDS!"** he shouted. Still, the braying continued.**

" Why in the hell do I have to answer it myself?" **He stood up and quickly walked towards the studding door. Conker yelled across the room **" GEE THANKS SMART ASSES FOR YOUR HELPFUL HANDS!" **When Conker reached the door, the guards weren't even there…**

" SORRY MY LORD!"** yelled back one of the guards across the room.**

" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DONG THERE!?"** The door brayed and brayed. **" I'm comin, I'm comin…"** He swiftly opened the door.**

" Wow, I guess braying on the door is better besides knocking aye Conker?"** The Grunt asked respectively.**

**Conker rolled his eyes. **" Tsh, Tell me about it!"

** Both squirrels entered the room. **"Whoa! Nice hang out, all yours?"** asked The Grunt surprisingly.**

**Conker rubbed his hands.** " Heh Heh, ALL mine…"

" She's a beauty!" **Responded the other.**

The door silently shut behind them. The Grunt had many questions to ask King Conker, but he asked only one.

" Don't you ever get bored being alone here Conker?"

" Nah"** Conker replied.** " I have two guards which they always seem to make Asses out of themselves."

** The Grunt looked up. **" Heh, I know how you feel… But you seem to have it worse them me, no offence sire…"

**Conker shook his head and rolled his eyes. **" Psh, no need to say such thing…"

**Both chaste Squirrels sat on a cushioned bench, comfortable cushion on every spot.**

"Cheeses Christ! You've got really nice things here!" **The Grunt said cheeringly.**

**Conker laid back with hands behind his head and sighed.**" A king has his own belongings that some can never afford." ****

"True…very true…"** said the other.**

Then Conker remembered what he was about to ask. The one question he matters the most.

" Hey General, Can I ask you something?"

" Sure! No problem! What's in your mind?"

**Conker stood still and finally asked.** "Well, when I was coming home from The Cock and The Plucker, I heard a sudden noise above me, and when I noticed, they were six Army jets soaring above the sky. Do you know why they were there?"** Then awkward silence filled the room. The Grunt thought for a moment and remembered…**

" Ah! That! Yes, I know why exactly why those were soaring above the sky…"** Replied the General.**

** Conker sat straightly with ears perked up.** "Well…Why?" **He asked eagerly.**

" There's no need to worry about, they were just practicing airlift!

**Conker sighed in relief.** "For a second there, I thought a was war coming in!"

" No, no… Just practicing. They need to practice in case a war is coming in before. In fact, right now there still practicing."

**Conker grinned, **" That's cool…"

**The two continued on their chat, until a sudden crash came away from Conker's Castle, Not too far away. Both wondering squirrels quickly stood up and faced each other. **

" We've gotta see what's going on out there!" **They both exclaimed.**

** Quickly, the two raced upon the red carpet floor, towards the door. Conker opened it with eager hands and both stood outside still…very still…**

" What was… THAT?!" **Conker asked General Grunt.**

" I don't think it's a friendly fire that all of a sudden fell out of the sky… Its more to me like a plane crash!" **Explained the other.**

**Smog and smoke filled the air**. **Conker curiously follows the cloud of smoke were it came from.**

" Wait for me Conker!"** Shouted The General Grunt. He quickly followed him.**

** Conker couldn't see were the smoke was coming from. Clouds of dust and smoke filled every corner of oxygen. Then all of a sudden he tripped…**

" Ow… Damn rock scum!" **He shouted.**

"Conker, were are ya?! I can't see – Whoa!!!" **Thump he felt he landed on a body.**

** The smog and smoke clear slowly. Both squirrels can now see the object and figure who caused all the mess. Conker Steadily got up half ways. **" ER HRM!" **Conker retorted and noticed The Grunt was atop of him.**

" Oh! Err sorry Conker! I guess I tripped on you lately before the smog cleared away…"** The Grunt said warily.**

The two got up from the fall and dusted themselves. A strange figure came towards them…

" Hey guys need a hand?" said the strange figure.

" No we're fine." Conker said gracefully.

" Oh well, why the fuck I'm I talking about! I'm the one who need the helping hand! Ha!" Laughed the strange figure.

The Grunt scratched his chin. " I think I recognize that voice…"

Smog cleared away pace fully, and the resistant figure was shown from clear light.

The strange new squirrel took out his hand. " Hiya, Fellas! Nice to fuckin meet ya! I'm the Sky Jockey, but you can just call me Jockey!"

Conker winced. "Uh, you know this guy General?"

The Grunt smirked. "Yea, he's the 2nd class in my group. He fly's many things, Jets, planes, anything you can think for teleportation that fly's."

Conker smiled and shook the Jockeys hand. " Nice to meet ya Jockey, I'm Conker…well…King Conker…"

" Ah! King Conker! So that's what I've been hearing about!" The Sky Jockey bowed gracefully and kisses the kings hand." Its an honor to meet you my king…"

Conker blinked. " Uh thanks?" He turned towards the General in regret.

The Grunt scratched his head. " We usually consider him AKA Gentlemen…"

" Uh…" Conker shifted his eyes towards him again. " Is he… safe?"

"Safe?"

" Yea… you know…" Conker cocked his head towards the side.

The Grunt finally knew what he meant. " OH! Yes! He's not…um…shall we say crooked... he's straight all right…"

The Sky Jockey cocked his head. " Ha! You think I'm gay! He pointed out. No… Like what Mr. Grunt said AKA Gentlemen."

Conker faced the Jockey. " Well its good being a gentlemen… but" Conker patted Jockeys back. " I prefer better on the ladies… don't you think?"

" Well of course! But king must be honored with respect! Besides, I'm all for the ladies… heh… but I'm an out going squirrel in wild flying skies!" Jockey replied.

The Grunt turned and pointed, " Okay Jocks no need to be interpret now…"

" Okay, okay! So be it… hey like the nickname! It makes me sound like I'm a Jock which I'm not" The Sky Jockey turned towards his damaged flying vehicle and sighed. " Except now that my jets damaged I have no where to go to…"

" Well" Conker began. "I prefer you are welcomed to stay in for a while Jocks, if you don't mind. I have lots and lots of room in my- shall we say CAS-T-LE. Besides, Your two are in the same group right?"

The Grunt turned towards the Sky Jockey. " I guess we are… I think it'll be fine for him to stay for a while till he get his new flying vehicle…"

" FUCK – TASTIC! Thanks general!" The Sky Jockey gave the friendly hug to General.

" Uh, Jocks? No need to be sentimental…" Quickly backs away.

Conker cringed " yea, just as long as he keeps away from me…"

" Nah don't worry, I wont do that anymore!" The Jockey exclaimed.

The three gradually walked in Conker's Castle.

" HOLY FUCKING NUTS! THIS PLACE IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!" Yapped Jockey.

Conker turned." Uh, Thanks for your utterly spoken words there Jocks…"

" No problem! I have many more!"

" I think it'll be enough for the day wouldn't IT Jocks?!" Snapped General Grunt.

The Sky Jockey saluted. " SIR YES SIR!"

" Very well then."

" So now I've met 2 classes right?" Conker asked.

The Grunt Responded." Indeed, you'll be meeting 4 more maybe unexpectedly like this Jockster."

The General looked out the window and noticed it was getting late. " Well, I'd better get going before the dark strikes outside…"

" Aww come on Sir! Stay a little longer! This place is so fucking great! How can you resist that?" Said the Jockster.

" No I don't think that would be necessary to do so…"

Conker noticed how much the Sky Jockey wanted The Grunt to stay. He rolled his eyes and sighed. " General, I'd believe you can stay here for a while too if you agree…"

The General paused for a second. " Conker are you kidding me? I have lots of things- well…you said we get our own rooms for a while right?"

" Yup, you can"

" Just for a day that's all I can take…. I have to take charge of the army reentry…"

" Good…choose any room up stairs BESIDES my room!" Warned Conker.

Both Squirrels Saluted and left to choose their rooms. Conker sighed and thought were the Guards were…

" I almost forgot! Those two assheads haven't been around here for a while… where the hell could they be?"

Then a yells echoed from the Weapon room…

I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3! Stay tuned for Chapter 4! Chapter 4: The three Squirrelmateers! Please R&R! J

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	4. Chapter 4: The three squirrelmeteers!

Chapter 4: The Three Squirrelmeteers…

As we continue, Conker hears a loud noise coming from his weapon base…

A/N: I do not own any characters of Conker. I do own my own fan chars Alex, Tim, Scoot, and Janiece. (Ja-niece)

Chapter 3: The Three Squirrelmeteers…

The clash of loudness echoed through the main throne room. Conker decides to check out the Weaponry Base Room (W.B.R)…

" WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED NOW!" Conker Shouted.

The other two squirrels, which currently were choosing their rooms on the 2nd floor, quickly raced down to join Conker with the entire ruckus. Both squirrels confused; and both asked.

" What's going on?"

" I think SOMEONE is in the W.B.R…"

The three Squirrels quickly walked to the W.B.R. Conker unlocked the bullet metal type door and opened with extreme caution. The three peeked and saw total destruction…

" WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED HERE?!" Yelled out Conker in a very strict manner.

The other two looked around the messy room " Wow, total destruction here…"

" COME OUT YOU SON OF A DIRTY BITCH! OR ELSE IM GONNA STICK A FREAKIN UZI UP YOUR LUBRICATED ASS IF YOU DON'T COME OUT NOW!"

" I don't think this is his usual job he deals with everyday, huh General?" whispered the Jockey from aside his hand.

" Well, perhaps…"

Conker picked up one of his favorite of all weapons, the shotgun. Conker cocked his gun, the sound echoed through the huge room. A loud gulp was herd beyond the pile of weapons. Conker smirked and slowly came upon the pile.

" Heh, I WoNdEr WhErE ThAt LoUd GuLp CaMe FrOm AbOuT?" He said sarcastically.

" Oooo Some action were kicking about here" Grunt rubbed his hands in delight.

Conker quietly lowered his shotgun down and ruffled through the piles of weapons. Then the figure quickly sprang up to his feet, leading Conker to fall.

" HEY! WATCH IT IDIOT!"

" IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS MR FAT FATIGUE! I TRIED TO STOP HIM BUT HE JUST KEPT-"

Conker slapped the familiar figure on the back of the head. Which appeared to be known, the idiotic thin weasel.

" Would you stop your fast yapping and tell me what the hell happened here?!"

The grunt shook his head. " I had a feeling it was going to be on of your servants…"

The Jockey scratched his chin. " Apparently I thought it was more like – nah- it couldn't be."

" Couldn't be what?"

" A Tediz…"

" Are you kidding me?!"

Both gray squirrels laughed knowing the Tediz wouldn't ever return... Conker turned and faced the thin eagerly talking weasel.

" Take it easy fella, tell me what just happened."

The thin weasel scratched his head, and explained.

" Remember what I've told you about when you leave, he 'Plays' with your military weapons?"

"Who?"

" You know…"

" Could you just tell me already!"

The Sky Jockey walked towards a Tommy gun, which was placed on one of the wooden shelves. He curiously walked forward to it wanting to check out the cool weapon Conker has owned. Then, without noticing what he had stepped on, he slipped with an unfortunate smell that followed upon his fall.

Conker shuddered. " I know who you mean…" Conker responded doubtfully. " Were is he?"

" Behind that shelf were your comrade stepped and had fell on."

Conker slowly crept behind the shelf and peeked. " So, the thin one has spoken the truth!"

" Oh bloody hell! No! No! I didn't do such a thing!"

" I believe so, you did, you mother lead fucker!"

" No! Hell, I have never did anything to your military weapons!"

" Uh, Conker? May I have permission to use your shower? This gooey nasty liquid has a very terrible smell!" Said the Jockey in disgust. Conker turned to the fat weasel and raised an eyebrow.

"Well King Conker? May I? The smell is starting to wreak more!"

" Sure no problem…"

The Jockey quickly ran up to his room past the Grunt. The Grunt raised a nostril and sniffed the bad odor.

" HOLY CRAP on a fruitcake! That smell really kills out your life span!" He turned towards Conker in a "Aren't you going to do anything about it way." Conker put his hands behind his back and shouted on the disgusted weasel.

" Now do you see that everyone is complaining about you orgasmed on my military weapons!"

" But- But-"

" I want my weapons to be extra SHINED and CLEAN, with chemicals, not you dirty screw- hole!"

The round on sighed and slowly looked down.

" Yes, sire, by your commands…"

The two squirrels and the thin weasel slowly got out of the W.B.R. The door shut steadily behind the commanded weasel.

" At least you don't deal with that everyday."

The tall weasel faced the General. " Well, surely you know now that I do."

" Hey thin boy, why don't you stand in front of the W.B.R incase the round one escapes from his commands that were given directed by Me.," Commanded Conker.

" Yes, My lord as you wish" He bowed and went on to the W.B.R front door.

Both Squirrels shook their heads. Then stomachs growled from hunger. Conker turned to Grunt and slowly grinned.

" I guess were both hungry then…"

" I think I would agree and look forward to it."

" Hmm…"

"So um, who cooks the food Conk?"

Both stood in silence not knowing what to think of next.

"Well" Conker began. " Usually the guards do all that stuff for me… but I need them at the W.B.R right now…"

" Don't you know, how to cook Conker? I mean no offence sire but, is there anything at least we can eat that you know what to cook out of?"

Conker scratched his neck in embarrassment. " Uh…um…I…um…"

" I can cook!" Shouted Jocks from the stairs across the room.

" Well what do you know, its Mr. Clean…"

" Good, so we have something to eat from the chief, start the cooking now ASAP!" said Conker.

Jocks cocked his head in confusion. " Whoa a little ballistic there King Conker, having a bad day?" Conker shook his head in disappointment. The Grunt spoke up.

" Err, um Jocks? Don't you thing it isn't a good time to ask? Just go what our King had ordered."

" Okay, okay, grungy boy I'm on it!"

" What did I tell you not using what class #4's stupid cut-up language!"

" Sorry Sir, he told me to tell you that name just to make you mad." He shrugged and walked towards the marble kitchen. General stood in fumes and shook a fist.

"When I get my hands on that blasted jackass, I'm sure Ill make something out of it!"

Conker shook his head again, this time with a little smile on his face. He comfortably sat on his throne and waited for his dinner, tapping his fingers as usually when things don't expect much.

" At least I have company to listen…"

"Oh Hell your really gonna want the company of #4 out of here!" Responded the Grunt. " Hey, what's this?" The Grunt noticed a radio back 3 yrs ago that was specially created for contacting army regulations.

" So you keep this stuff still?"

" Yea, usually your supposed to turn it on to know what emergencies happen around here and near enemy lines, so far nothing has be reported about robbery, murder, next war, and other stuff. Then I decided, hell, why need this on, if every day of my life nothings being reported from the army regulation society…"

" Wow, so you get contacted by Sarge. Rico?

" Yup, Exactly…"

" That pretty nice, fit for a king. Does it still work?"

" Probably wont, but hell, you can try it, just to listen to nothing being reported…"

The Grunt curiously turned on the radio and placed his ear aside of it. He herd voices of the other end, but couldn't make it out. He shook the radio roughly trying to listen on the other end. He looked up at Conker in a disappointing face of manner.

" Conker, I think someone is trying to contact us from this radio you've been having."

"What? Impossible… Every time I turn the stupid thing on, it was never spoken to me on the other side of the end! And now its chosen you?!"

" I'm pretty sure its someone talking on the other side sire…"

" You must be hearing things"

"Well I' am hearing things! Sounds like Sarge. Rico!"

" I meant to say that your crazy…"

"Eh, I'm not!"

Conker rolled his eyes. _"When is my dinner gonna be here?" _He thought.

" Conker, I know your to desperate to eat as I' am, but I'm telling you the truth! For once, please listen to the radio-"

" FOODS READY!" Shouted the Jockey from the kitchen. Conker rubbed his hands in delight.

" Finally, foods ready…"

The Grunt stood at his stance and thought for a while. Hearing the visible voice coming from the radio made him worried just turning it off.

" Hey Mr. G! Comin for dinner?" Shouted Jocks.

" Well, I uh… Yeah!"

" Come on then G! Foods gonna get cold!"

The Grunt placed the radio on the small table near by the throne leaving it on. He slowly walked a few paces away leading to the kitchen. Then looked back, biting his fingers made him nervous. He thought for a moment and finally decided to take the radio with him during their dinner…

" So what are we having today?" Conker said gracefully.

" Were having Teriyaki BBQ chicken with honey roasted nuts!"

" I think that sounds good…"

" Uh, Conker? Do you know were the Grunt is?"

" He should be coming a moment sooner…"

They both scratched their heads thinking. Then the Grunt appeared listening through his ear to the radio.

" Ah, there you are Mr. G, foods here. Um what's that thing besides your ear anyways?

Conker noticed The Grunt still had the radio with communicating services. He knew he was desperate to hear on the other end.

" Look fella, you aint gonna hear anything from that piece of crap, I mean, you cant even hear on the other end!"

" Exactly, and I'm going to find out know what's going on!"

Conker rolled his eyes once more and began his first bite of fleshy tasty BBQ meat.

" MMMM, This is great! Good cook for a Sky Jockey!"

"Well, thanks. My father was a cook back then while he began piloting for aircraft."

" That's amazing and you learned it all to yourself from your father."

"Yup, good ol daddy O!"

" SHHH! I think I hear something!" Said The Grunt.

"Oh come on now Mr. G cant you just let that go and enjoy our dinner meal?" Continued Jocks.

The Grunt gave the last final bang at the radio. Fizzes and drizzles herd about from the radio. Then, it slightly cleared until it was completely heard.

" ATTENTION! I REPEAT ATTENTION! THIS IS SARGE RICO! WE HAVE A MAJOR SITUATION AT OUR HANDS CAN YOU PLEASE RESPOND!"

" I told you Conker! I told you that someone on the other side was trying to contact us!"

Conker scratched his neck." I guess your right. Wow, guess banging the radio outta its crap really helps…"

" And you thought I was crazy…"

"IS ANYONE THERE?! HELLO! HELLO! THIS IS SERG. RICO! CAN ANY ONE RESPOND!"

" Speak into it Mr. G!" said the Jockey.

The grunt held the communicator connected to the radio aside his mouth and spoke.

" This is #48209 AKA General standard Grunt Sir Reporting for your duty sir!"

" 48209? IS THAT YOU? NICE SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN GENERAL GRUNT! OKAY, IS ANYONE IN THE ARMY SOCIETY NEAR YOU, SON?!"

" Yes Sir! I have King Conker by my side and Sky Jockey SIR!"

"GOOD- ASS! I KNOW CONKER HAVENT MET UP WITH THE REST OF THE TEAM, BUT I THINK THE THREE OF YOU CAN FINISH UP THE MISSION WE HAVE HAD AQUIRED FOR YOU TO DO!"

Conker Sighed and shook his head. " Here we go again…"

" Don't worry Conker, I bet it going to be a ass kicking mission." Responded Jocks.

" I believe I had enough ass kicking back 3 yrs ago…"

Serge. Rico continued on his communication through the radio communicator.

" HERES THE MISSION, THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN CAUSED BY A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE THAT WE COULDN'T INDENTIFY NEAR THE BASE CAMP OF STEALTH. I BELIEVE THE FIGURE HAD SO MUCH STRAINGTH, IT TORE THE METAL BASE CAMP ON THE SIDE WERE STEALTH SQUIRRELS WERE TRAINED INCASE OF A NEW WAR. APPARENTLY IT GOT AWAY WITH ONE OF OUR NOT YET SO HIGHLY TRAINED DONKEYS…UH I …I MEAN…OH AHH… FUCK THAT SHIT! WHAT I MEANT WAS APPARENTLY IT GOT AWAY WITH OUR ONE OF OUR NOT SO YET HIGHLY TRAINED SQUIRRELS."

" FEMALE OR MALE! FEMALE OR MALE!" Yelled out Jockey eagerly to the communicator.

" JOCKS I KNOW THATS YOUR VOICE CUZ YOUR ALWAYS LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE ABOUT FEMALES… BUT YES, ONE OF OUR RECRUITS, ONLY REGONIZED OUR STEALTH MEMBER AND IT IS A FEMALE…"

" Oh yea! It's a female! OH YEA!" Cheered Jocks.

" FEMALE OR MALE, DOESN'T MATTER. MUST BE SAVED BEFORE TIME IS RUNNING OUT OF THEIR LITTLE FORGIVING LIVES! YOU"VE FIRST HAVE TO MEET ME AT STEALTH CAMP ASAP!"

Conker came in with the kitchen with army regulation attire. Guns pointed out from each of his hands, cigar held on his lips.

" I'm ready to kick some mysterious Asses!"

" Well, I sure don't need to get ready, nor does Mr. G we've got nor equipment on!"

General Grunt thought for a moment. Then continued on his communication.

" Sir, just one more thing to ask…"

"WHAT IS IT NOW SONNY?"

" How the hell can we go over at the stealth camp if we don't have no where to drive in over there quickly and go?"

" SONNY, I BELIEVE WE"VE SENT SOME OF OUR RECRUITS TO BRING YOU THREE OVER HERE… SEE YOU SOON…"

The radio shut off. Then loud noises came from the huge royal doors near the entrance. It kept braying and braying until it broke out, with powerful soldiers at arms. The three commanded squirrels ran up to the entrance and there stood four gray squirrels, dressed in army attires.

" Sarge. Rico sent us here for you mission…" Replied one of the gray squirrels.

" I see, we've just noticed in time while you 4 brayed on the door…" Said Conker sarcastically.

" Well, you know… that's our job. We have to get your Asses out sooner or later." Replied the other soldier.

" Enough with the chit chat Tim! We have to take these three to the base!" Responded the 3rd.

The seven of the squirrels hopped on the huge jeep like vehicle; with shine in every corner.

" Wow, nice vehicle you got here you guys!" Replied Conker.

"Thanks" Said the driver. " Its one of the finest ones out there!"

The driver started the engine and began to be on their way to the base; while Coheed and Cambria " A Favor House Atlantic." Played out loud. (A/N: You should really hear this song. It just rocks!)

" Nice music there!" Yelled Jocks through the loudness of the music.

" Its the one song we soldiers apply to!"

Dark was near in time and their destination was until three minutes longer. The music faded away as the driver lowered the volume.

" Well," Said the sniper behind the back seat. " Three minutes until our destination to the base. Sure, it will be dark, but I think you three will complete the mission successfully!"

" Heh, you think that's going to be easy, you guys didn't even recognize the dark figure! At night it'll be hard to search for a kidnapper like that!" provoked Conker.

" Don't worry, you'll guys will be having night vision goggles to sort it all out."

" Smart ass…" mumbled Conker.

"What?"

"Oh nothing…"

" Looks like you called me a smart ass sir…"

" No… heh… I didn't- I said Smart Glass."

" Smart glass?"

" Yea, the windows seem to be glass back there were your sitting, must be were it keeps the insecure idiots out of the way."

"Sir, I believe there in no such thing as smart glass…"

" Because back there were your sittin, insecure idiots mainly forget what a certain word is…"

" You don't want to argue with me sir, can we just keep this cool and let it be?"

" Fine, fine… have it your way!"

" Sir, this is not burger king…"

" Burger king? Conker cocked his head. When did I say that?"

" Not this again…" The 2nd gray squirrel said.

" Yea, you said have it your way!"

" Look buddy, I didn't mean to say what you think you thought I said."

" I'm Sure I heard it clearly sir…"

" I guess I was right, insecure idiots are in the back seat…"

"One minute till our final destination!" Yelled out the driver.

Conker cocked his guns. " I'm ready to blow up some prick-heads!"

The 3rd gray squirrel turned to Conker and spoken out.

" Uh, mister King, um, Conker, sir…"

"Yea what now? Another idiot that should belong in the back seat?"

"I think you wont be needing those for this mission."

" What?! Are you kidding me? Get behind the back seat!"

"No, Conker Sir, Sargent Rico's orders, if you don't believe me, remember Serge's oath."

" Oh, your right, I believe I need to loose the guns…"

Conker handed the guns to the third gray squirrel and looked at his tag name named, Alex.

" Thanks, that helped us out a lot."

" So Alex, is there a reason why I'm not supposed to bring guns of such?"

" This mission is all about sneaking through enemy lines and getting our stealth squirrel back. If you use loud artillery, it'll drag attention to the enemy."

" Oh, I see…so were learning some kind of stealth?"

"Currently, yes, sir part of some such."

" Well, were in then anyways, right guys? Uh, guys?"

The other two were sound asleep after for a long driven destination. Conker tapped each of the two sleeping squirrels; not even a movement was seen.

"Okay, were here at our said destination!" Replied the driver.

"Uh." Conker pointed at the two sleeping animals. " I think it would be possible for them to be awaken from something that they could actually get up…"

" Oh don't worry, we safely held a emergency megaphone here for this kind of case!"

" I guess I should cover my ears now…"

" Ha! You should because this thing could bring your ear drums to explode!"

Conker covered his ears and shut one of his eyes. " O-K, I'm ready."

"Righty-O!" said the driver as he took a deep breath and yelled.

" HEY! WAKE UP YOU SNOORING WIMPERING ASSES!"

Both squirrels woken up strictly and blinked twice.

" God! You have to be so loud!" Yelled The Grunt.

" Sorry General but, we are at our destination and we needed to wake you two up."

"WOOT!" Replied Jocks. " Good thing you woken me up right now cuz, I almost felt that I could of wet myself from that lovely dream I had!"

Every one at the jeep stared disturbingly. Conker grunted with a little laugh to hide.

" Heh, we didn't need to hear any of your personals Jocks, you would of kept it to yourself…"

The driver lowered his eyes in disgust. " Alex, make sure you clean this jeep inside nice and clean just to double check…"

"But sir, why me?

"Because I ordered for you to do it!"

Alex faced Jocks and shook a violent fist. "Damn you and your damn urination process of wet dreams!"

" Heh, funny how some men become jealous for not having this type of gift!" Continued Jocks.

Conker and The Grunt smacked their foreheads.

Conker nodded. " At least someone that we know should be in the back seat…"

Soon all seven squirrels stepped out from the jeep. There they all stood outside where all different military camps that served and trained each different squirrel their own special abilities. It was now pitch dark by then, and the only thing that gave out light was a tall lighthouse that stood in the middle of all base camps. All seven walked towards an office that was placed near the lighthouse. Conker read up that the sign was given as named abbreviation; M.O.O

" Sargent Rico's Military's. Offends. Office" Conker said to himself.

" Yea, strange how its abbreviation is named, but its better not to talk about it." Replied Private. Scoot. (Driver)

"Yea," Replied Private Tim. " Especially when you ask for cow milk, he's gonna rip your mouth off like as fast as a fucker that had ever fucked…"

" I feel your pain." Responded Alex.

" Would you shut up! I didn't meant myself in that sort of way!"

The Grunt crossed his arms impatiently. " Can we just come in know?!"

" Yes, Sir General!"

All went inside at once. There stood Sarge. Rico, a big chested muscular gray squirrel with both legs crossed straight atop his huge oak desk. His head lifted straight at the seven soldiers; waiting for an order.

" Finally, you little bastards came in time!" said Rico.

" Sir yes sir!" All squirrels saluted for respect.

" Now that you bastards now stepped on to my office I want you all to get the hell out of here besides the three that I have requested for you to get. Now scoot!"

" Yes, sir?"

" Not you Private Scoot! I mean all of you scoot as in getting the hell out of here and on to your look outs!"

"Sir, yes, Sir!" They all shouted and the four went of at their commence.

"Sigh, those bastards just keep losing it every second…"

Conker put his hands in his pockets. " Uh Rico, now that the three of us are here, what do we begin with to start that mission you have ordered for us to deal with?"

Sarge. Rico Raised his head up once again and lifted himself off his chair.

" Ah, Conker, the lucky king who survived our war 3 yrs ago and beat those stuffed button shit eyed Tediz…"

" Yea, Yea, Yea, can we cut to the chase?"

"Right, at 08:35 our stealth squirrel has been kidnapped by a mysterious figure. Then at 08:35 our stealth squirrel has been kidnapped by an…uh…well…sorta like a…oh fuck that shit! All we had mentioned earlier today, that we don't know what the figure is but we know where its location it hidden in. Part of it…"

The Grunt looked up." So what do we need to get our stealth squirrel back?"

" Easy, fallow me…"

The four of them dashed outside, dirt floating everywhere from their run.

" Would you mother fuckers slow down! Your getting dust flying all over this place!" Shouted Sarge. Rico.

" Sorry Sarge, wont happen again…" Replied Jocks.

" Right, anyways fallow me!"

" Yes Sir!" They all said.

Sarge. Rico lead Conker and the gang towards Stealth Camp. Different camps were set left and right besides them. They were tall and wide metal house shaped camps, not just ordinary wooden ones. All named upon each metal steeled short buildings as they continued there walk; Snipers, Grunts, Demolishers, Thermophiles, Sky Jockeys and finally Stealth Sneakers.

" Well, here we are soldiers, Stealth Sneakers base camp, pretty depressing for what caused all this mess. But hey, were gonna find that mother fuckin squirrel stealer."

" Wow, this is quite depressing." Replied The Sky Jockey.

The base looked terrible. Most of its half was torn off enormously. Leaving piles and piles of steel laying besides the base. Lights flickered and lingered hanging off the walls motionly moving back and forth.

" Yes it is sonny, it uh…what's depressing again? Uh oh wait...Um...Oh fuck that shit!"

" Hmmm…" Conker rubbed his chin. "For the sake of it, looks like the figure wasn't to big at hand, looks like it was a couple of inches above our height. More like some huge unnatural claws that ripped off the steel."

" For once son, your right. Forgot to tell you, Private. Alex told me when he saw the mysterious figure; he was sure he saw its arm extended from a mid distance from the base. So technically, it may be some kind of robot or something being controlled out of that creepy dark figured bastard."

" He may be right Conker." Said The Grunt. "It may be some sort of robot…"

The Jockey scratched his chin. " Yea, I agree too. I mean, what sort of strong animal would do this kind of crime?"

" I know…" Said a mysterious voice.

The rest turned around and noticed it was one of the Squirrel. Military. Association. The light flashed at the figure as it slowly moved around the Squirrel army grounds. It appeared to be a female 18 yr old light reddish-brown squirrel; one of the most rare colors a squirrel could ever have. She had a long gun tied to her back with along; the army attire she wore. Rico smacked his forehead and knew she escaped from the Snipers Base Section.

" For crying out loud darling, cant you go back to your training?! You need to get to the training section ASAP!"

The female figure giggled. " Sarge, sir, I just want to help!"

" Darlin, what in the names justice do you know about this how mess? The only one that knows about this, is the stealth members, these soldiers, and I. Do you have any idea how serious we are about this?"

" Yes Sir, but I believe I found some thing that will help you along the way while I was in my sniper training grounds."

The three squirrels fell mouthed open from the attractive squirrel. No one can ever have wonderful fur as hers. Everything from her was far out beautiful. Conkers shook out his head thinking he couldn't ever get another girl and replace her as Berri. Even though she had died of the murderer 3yrs ago. The other two just fell mouthed wide open with watery mouths. Conker decided to speak up and let the girl get a chance…

" Uh, Sarge. Rico? Don't you think you should let her speak up for what she's trying to help us out? I'm mean like you said, each soldier in our community will be given a chance to speak for themselves for which they ought to help."

"Well! Good term memory their Conker. I think I should. Speak up darlin."

The Jockey slightly lowered his eyes whispered aside his hand to Conker. " Someone's getting there groove on…"

Conker blushed and tried to ignore what the Jockey had said; Thinking _" No this can't be happening, I can't replace her as Berri! I can't replace her as Berri! But she so beautiful…NO! I could not replace her as…. Berri?" _Conker shook his head once more trying to ignore his mind loving control.

The girl gave a short giggle then took out the object off her pocket. "Here it is sir, I found this when I was zooming through my gun towards this base when I saw this object had fallen off from the kidnapper. I studied it and it came to be one of those tracking devices."

Rico studied the rare device. Then turned it on; the screen from the device appeared to be pointing to its location were the kidnapper was supposed to go next.

" This must be showing were the next destination the kidnapper should have been next."

The 4 squirrels looked into the screen.

"He's right!" replied the girl. "It is pointing to a destination!"

The Grunt scratched his head. " It seems right, it is!"

" But, how would the figure know were it was supposed to go next if he or she dropped this device?" Responded the Jockey.

The girl stood up. " Ha! Easy! It doesn't even need the device! It could have been a robot if some said it had a metal arm, it could of memorized once looking into it!"

Conker gave a little smile.

"We could try that, I mean looking through this device and following towards its head quarters…" Answered the Sargent.

The Grunt looked up." Very well then, lets get going!"

Rico quickly gave each squirrel night vision goggles. All attached around their necks.

" Soldiers, I know she's not supposed to be with you guys since she's already assigned to a different 6 group party, but I think this sniper can help you along the way."

" But Sarge, I'm not fully trained yet for this kind of task!" Warned the girl.

" Darlin, you'll do fine. Okay soldiers! Move it out!" Yelled Rico. " By the way guys, her names Janiece. She is a helping hand for you guys."

Conker slightly lowered his eyes and thought, _" Whoa, Janiece… what a wonderful name… I mean, NO! I can't continue on like this! Berri would be coming soon and I know so! Well, would she?"_

" Here you go darlin, I think you'll be needing this device to control since you figured out how to use it when you found it."

" Uh thanks Sarge! That'll be great!" Responded Janiece.

" Oh yea, on more thing! Jocks I think you'll be needing something to fly upon to."

The Sky jockey eyes sparkled when he heard about his task. " Cool Sarge! What will it be?"

"Come with me, you'll be needing them later on with the mission… The rest of you guys meet up in the artillery/armory equipment base over to the right. You'll be needing a couple of more things before you go!"

"SIR YES SIR!" They all responded and went off to the base.

Artillery/Armory equipment base Time: P.M Night standard

"Okay guys, what will it be?" Said Private Alex.

Janiece sniffed the air near by Alex " You seem to smell a bit awful Alex, what were you in?"

" Janiece you wouldn't even believe what I was cleaning in…" Alex gave a sharp eye to Jocks.

The sky Jockey gave out a sweat and scratched behind his neck" Well, I uh… Some people just can't handle the pressure to go to the bathroom I suppose…"

"Aren't you supposed to be with Sarge. Rico, Jockey?" Said the Grunt.

" Well, I get to wonder around here for a while until you contact me in the communicator you guys have when you have the missing stealth girl saved. Then I jump in…"

" Oh, I see…"

"JOCKS!" Yelled Rico from outside the dark night.

" Better get going, he has to explain for me to do…"

All Squirrels saluted. "We all wish you luck!" Jocks saluted back and quickly left the base.

" Okay lets hurry and choose what we need." Commanded Janiece.

The grunt turned " Wow, eagerly to fight aye?"

" A soldier should not just be hanging around kicking back for no shit, we gotta keep moving!"

" This Girl gots spank!" Replied Conker.

" Thanks I should accept that as a compliment…"

" I...I…um…welcome! By the…uh…uh…w…way my names Conker."

"Nice to meet you Conker, or should I say King Conker?" Giggles.

" Call me anything you want…" Conker said dreamy.

The grunt already started ordering." Yea, Ill have 3 of them ropes you got there."

" Gotta get moving!" They both said.

Conker and the two had gotten their things to complete the mission. Then gone off outside; still mid dark…

"Okay, says here we start heading straight ahead the make 40 degrees to the right then straight again." Reported Janiece.

Both Conker and Grunt Nodded. "Right!"

The three left off the Squirrel. Military. Base, Huge wired gates opened with bob wire curved across the highest point of the gates. They trailed off; gates slowly closing behind their back into the dark gloomy night…

A/N: it's the end of chapter 4. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing on it. Please review. It will help a lot for my writing! :) Please stand by for Chapter 5: The tower…


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